Should We Put Down Our Phones?

by Brenna Holeman

Liechtenstein Phone Booth

Phonebooths in Vaduz, Liechtenstein, because ironically I don’t have any photos of my phone

The title of this post is a little preachy, I know. And as someone who makes a living completely from work done online, it also seems a bit hypocritical. We’ve all heard this countless times already (ironically, on our social media feeds) and videos like this one have gone viral. But it is extremely difficult to stay away from the device that’s become iconic of our generation, especially as it gets better and better, and as new devices connected to it  – I’m thinking of Apple’s new Watch – are released.

Last night, I headed to London’s Tooting Bec area for the first time. I was there to attend the monthly Travel Massive, an event I try to attend whenever I can. I had only arrived back in London the day before, after a really relaxing three weeks spent in Toronto, Phoenix, and Winnipeg. I realise now that what made my time so relaxing was that I didn’t use my phone. Not wanting any international charges, I turned off my phone’s data; whenever I took it out with me it was only to use it as either a camera or as a way to tell time. I did have access to wifi whenever I was at either of my parents’ houses, but even then I barely used it.

Last night, then, I felt I was hyper-aware of how much we use our phones, even in big, social crowds. I am not calling out this particular group in any way – most people who attended last night are bloggers or in the travel industry online, and so it makes perfect sense to check and / or use a smartphone at an event like that. I was simply aware of how often people did seem to do just that: check their phones. My habits of North America still resonating, I only checked my phone once, for the time. All too often, however, I’ve been mid-conversation with someone when he or she will stop and check a phone, or even respond to a text while I am standing there, mid-sentence. I noticed it on dates recently, too; I don’t recall anyone actually using their phone in front of me, but whenever I’d approach the table after using the bathroom or buying drinks at the bar, the guy would be on his phone, killing time.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my phone. I use it for email, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, maps, the weather, and a host of other apps. I also, you know, text and call people on it. I suppose I’m just tired of how addicted I am to it, and am growing weary of how addicted our entire society seems to be. Today, while going for a walk to Brick Lane, I forgot I even had my phone on me. I was gone for two hours and didn’t check it, which doesn’t sound that remarkable, but even a month ago I would have checked it every ten to fifteen minutes. When I wake up, the first thing I do is look at my phone. It’s often the last thing I do before bed, too. For me, this doesn’t feel healthy. While on my walk today I noticed how many people were on their phones – those in cafés, those having a cigarette, even those cycling (don’t get me started on that). I’m trying now, whenever I have a few minutes to kill, to just stand there, or to look at my surroundings. I believe it was Louis C.K. who said that he wanted his kids to feel boredom sometimes, and to not instinctively reach for a device whenever there’s a slow moment.

I wrote about this last year, too – how I regretted the amount of time I spent on a laptop compared to how much time I used to spend with a journal. Some days it feels that my entire life is consumed by technology, but I’m the one who is encouraging it; after working for a long time, my break is often spent not reading or going for a walk, but perusing fun websites like Imgur or Buzzfeed. My break from the internet is to spend more time on the internet. Sometimes, even when I’m watching a movie, I’m also on my phone.

Phones in Malaysia

Seriously, why do I not have a photo of a smartphone? Payphones in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia

Upon my return to London on Tuesday, I realised something else. One of the reasons I love travelling so much is because, so often, I’m completely cut off from being online (this obviously doesn’t apply to work trips or press trips, when I obviously know the conditions and am happy to be online along the way). During my recent trip to Spain, for example, I only had access to the internet when I was at my hostel, which meant that every time I left to explore or go to the beach, I couldn’t check anything online even if I wanted to (I’m aware that I can easily do this by getting a local SIM card or through other means, but, for exactly this reason, I don’t). I believe that that’s why – on top of, you know, the beer and the sea air and the great conversations with new friends – I felt so relaxed in Alicante. Then, when I’d return to my hostel, I was more productive in the few hours I had online than I usually am in a full day in London. Basically, I am a better and more appreciative traveller when I’m offline.

I fully appreciate that I am sounding like a raging luddite, but spending three weeks with not as much time online really helped me get my priorities in order, and also helped me realise why perhaps I was feeling a bit uninspired as of late. I’ve now constructed a schedule that I intend to stick to – instead of sitting down at my laptop without any sort of plan for the day, therefore blurring the lines between work time, school time, blog/freelance time, and what I shall only deem as fun time (that sounds creepy, but actually just means watching videos of kittens. Wait. Still creepy). I am now dedicating a few hours to each every day, with some obviously getting more time than others (sorry kittens). Today, with my new schedule, I managed to get everything done that I wanted to with tons of time left over to go for that walk, run a few errands, make an awesome dinner, and read 200 pages of a book. I also felt better and more accomplished than almost any other day over the summer. I intend to get away from the computer more and to, yes, put down my damn phone. 

After all, there are very few emails, notifications, comments, or likes that can’t wait a few hours, not when there’s a sunset to watch, a friend to laugh with, or a world to explore.

What do you think? Are you addicted to your phone? Do you think you could or would you like to spend less time on it?

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35 comments

Ashley September 12, 2014 - 2:59 am

Great post, Brenna! I completely agree with your sentiments and I would also like to spend less time on my phone. It has become an addiction without me really realizing and I hate to think about how much of my time it consumes.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:14 am

I think about that, too! I am really trying to wean myself off of using it… thanks for your comment, Ashley!

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Laura September 12, 2014 - 11:56 am

Well put, Brenna. My smartphone broke just before I came to Korea, and I haven’t replaced it. I have a very simple “dumb phone” that I use now and I haven’t looked back. I’ve completely embraced the idea of simply enjoying my surroundings when I’m on my own and refuse to become one of those people sitting at a restaurant with friends, staring at my phone.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:10 am

That’s great! I think it feels really good to disconnect once in a while, and I really try not to check social media at all when I’m out with friends. I mean… if I’m with someone in person, why would I need to check what friends are saying online… right?

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Rebekah September 12, 2014 - 1:23 pm

I defnitely at times I feel I use my phone way too much, I think honestly the answer is just being aware of it. Sometimes I put my phone on airplane mode, throw it in my purse and forget about it and as long as I give myself breaks from it I feel like its balances out. Even though I blog I still try to journal everyday (every week?). I think its important to create things for ourselves, not just to share with others.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:10 am

That’s a great attitude, I totally agree! I definitely want to start spending more time putting a pen to paper and not just online. Thanks for your comment!

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Shikha (whywasteannualleave) September 12, 2014 - 2:22 pm

I completely relate to so much of this – I’m the same in that I use mine all the time especially since I started blogging but I almost get annoyed with myself for doing so – sometimes I wish I could just put it down and not think about it and yet I find myself doing just that!! And when I recently went to Cuba where there was no free wifi, it felt strangely liberating to just not be able to worrry about it (although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t pay once or twice after just giving in to temptation!)

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:12 am

When I went to Cuba in 2012 I only checked my email once in over a week… and that was only to make sure that everything was all right with my family! I love how liberating it feels. I also get annoyed at myself from time to time for using my phone too much!

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Pauline September 12, 2014 - 3:31 pm

I agree with your points there. It seems like the phone is becoming more and more important than face-to-face interaction (sadly!). Normally, I’d say that I’m not addicted to my phone – I don’t have a data plan, so although I had a great phone (Nexus 5), I am never connected unless there’s wi-fi available. More often than not, I choose not to connect to the wi-fi anyways. However, I lost my phone a couple of weeks ago and it was only then when I realized how addicted I am to it! My goodness – I had no idea what to do with myself when I’m idle. Time that was usually spent browsing Instagram/Buzzfeed/BBC News is now open for me to do anything else. I’m getting a new phone that should be delivered next week though, so we’ll see how I react to this new-found realization.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:13 am

I know, I am always really shocked when people pull out their phones in front of me and start texting or checking Facebook, it’s weird! I’m also trying not to just browse online absentmindedly anymore… hopefully that time saved will go toward doing something else creative, or maybe even, you know, going outside! Thanks for your comment. 🙂

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Alex (LoneWolfe) September 12, 2014 - 3:46 pm

My Iphone recently died on me and rather than replacing it, I’ve been using a very retro nokia. It has no camera, no internet, just texts and calls, and while I’ve missed some of my iPhone comforts (mainly GPS, I’ve got very lost) I’ve found it extremely liberating not to be staring at my phone all the time. I’m off to India at the end of October and I’m so looking forward to having even less access to the internet, your post has reminded me how wonderful it is to embrace what’s around you and not what’s floating around in cyber space.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:08 am

That’s awesome – I wonder how many more people will start doing that? A friend of mine did the same thing recently and he said it was so liberating, too. What kind of weirds me out is that all of the younger generations will never know what life was like without a phone… and I would say that India is exactly the kind of place to disconnect and take all of your surroundings in!

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Leah September 12, 2014 - 3:51 pm

I absolutely agree with this post. I was walking through London yesterday and I couldn’t help but notice how many people were staring down at their phones … and yes, even myself!

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:04 am

I notice it so much in London!

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Tom @ Waegook Tom September 12, 2014 - 4:23 pm

Yes to this, Brenna! I feel myself doing it when I travel, taking my phone out all the time, and I literally have to force myself to stop. On my recent trip to Singapore, I decided against getting a local SIM, as it wasn’t worth it for 3-4 days. I used the phone as a camera, and to find directions (the City Maps 2 Go app), but that was pretty much it – and you know what? I didn’t miss it. Likewise, I left my laptop at home for the first time in forever, and didn’t miss it one iota, either!

On my trip to Bangkok, I had to have my phone with me as I was a guest on a tour and was updating on social media pretty often. Even then, my phone battery ran out early into a night out in Silom, which meant I was able to just focus on drinking and dancing, rather than checking messages and Facebook every ten minutes. Back in the UK at the end of August, I was unable to use my phone unless connected to WiFi, as my Taiwanese phone likes neither normal British sized SIMs, nor British nano-SIMs. But it was fine. I didn’t feel disconnected, or stranded, and I found myself to be more relaxed.

Will I use my phone on my next trip? Well, probably, but I’ll try and restrain myself. I’ve become more aware of myself using it too much, and now take time just to sit, and look at my surroundings as I commute….which is usually just the sight of other commuters on their phones, but hey, I like my own company so it’s not too bad.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:06 am

Thank you for your comment, Tom! I totally agree with this. I really don’t miss it when I don’t have it with me, or when it runs out of battery (unless I’m working, obviously). I’m really trying not to use it at all when I commute, spending my time reading or, if I’m on the bus, just looking out the window. You’re right, I never feel disconnected or stranded, I just feel relaxed!

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Beverley | Pack Your Passport September 12, 2014 - 4:55 pm

Sometimes my flatmates won’t respond to something I’ve said, right in front of them, because they’re on their phones. Seriously. It drives me insane. They’re constantly texting, constantly looking at something. I forgot my phone the other, accidentally leaving it on my bedside table and not realising until I got to work, and do you know what, it was nice not to have it. Although I *really* missed it on the bus as I had no music to listen to and spent the whole journey listening to a someone else on their phone talking about X Factor. Sigh.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:04 am

Oh god, I can’t stand either of those things! So rude to have people ignore you and look at their phones instead… and maybe I’ve been living in London too long already, but whenever anyone is really loud on buses or trains I get incredibly annoyed. Maybe I’m just a grump!

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Nikita September 12, 2014 - 5:11 pm

The irony in blogging is that most people are better writers when they’re connected to the world around them rather than wifi… And yet the industry demands so much time online. I try to travel without a phone, (I don’t even own a smart phone, so I’m basically living in the stone age) and I love it, but it’s getting harder and harder. Not because I need it, I’m okay with getting lost and actually keeping meetings with people, but because now it’s expected. I asked a man for directions once and he asked me to get out my iphone so he could show me on google maps. Needless to say, I stayed lost.

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:02 am

Yes – I totally agree with your first line! I definitely write better (and more) when I’m not connected online. Also, I find it strange to think that only a few years ago I used maps (like, real paper maps) to find my way everywhere. I still use that method when I travel, as I don’t like taking my phone out in unfamiliar places.

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Kirsten (Kirst Over the World) September 12, 2014 - 9:47 pm

Oh, I feel this. I’m on my phone way too much, and catch myself sometimes on it while I’m watching a programme. That’s slightly scary; I don’t consciously do it!

Also, I remember once on the train to work, I was on my phone and looked up (the rare time you do when you’re on your phone…). What I saw was everyone else around me on their phones too and I suddenly realised how surreal this is! Now I make sure for the whole journey I’m reading a book, not clicking aimlessly on my phone to kill the journey. Baby steps…

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Brenna Holeman September 13, 2014 - 1:00 am

Oh man, it’s such a weird feeling to see absolutely EVERYONE on their phones on the train. I try not to go on mine then either, and I almost always have a book with me when I know I’ll be travelling anywhere for longer than ten minutes or so. Thanks for your comment!

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Katie @ The World on my Necklace September 14, 2014 - 1:33 am

Completely agree! It is something that I notice a lot too – people are ALWAYS on their phones, almost like they are an extension of their bodies. I purposely don’t have Facebook and email as apps on my phone and will only use the internet on my phone for about 5-10 minutes a day, if at all. I would rather spend my commute to work reading or just enjoying my surroundings (I take a ferry to work) and spend my lunch breaks walking.

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Brenna Holeman September 14, 2014 - 5:29 pm

Those are great ideas! For the last week I’ve only been checking email and social media on my computer, not my phone, and I feel that it has helped a lot. It’s so weird to charge my phone at night and see that I still have 85% battery instead of 20%.

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The Pursuit of Happiness: 16 Everyday Tips for a Happier Life - Helen in Wonderlust September 15, 2014 - 12:20 am

[…] friend Brenna just wrote a great post on putting down our phones – well worth a […]

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Sarah September 16, 2014 - 4:11 pm

When my boyfriend and I travelled to Dubrovnik last year one of the first things the hotel receptionist said to us was ‘you’ll be wanting the Wi-Fi code for your room’. She was completely gobsmacked when we said we wouldn’t be needing it and seemed to have the impression that we were a little strange for the whole week. I was kind of sad to see how many bars and restaurants were shouting about their free WiFi as if the reason a tourist/traveller/whatever you want to call yourself would go there would be to sit on their phone. Part of the joy of being on holiday is that you can switch off. I’ll still check my phone once a day in case anybody has anything important to tell me but I make a point of not checking Facebook, Twitter or especially work e-mails while away.

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Brenna Holeman September 16, 2014 - 5:56 pm

I know, so many places advertise it now! Obviously, when I want to work, it’s terrific, but you’re right – the rest of the time, I like to switch off. I hate walking into a hostel and having the entire common room sitting in silence as everyone browses on their phones!

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Naomi September 17, 2014 - 6:48 pm

Amen! A friend of mine at the ashram once said that she started to make all computer & phone time a ‘meditation’ – to go into it with a clear intention & focus, so that she could get whatever task she was opening these devices for done efficiently, instead of getting sucked into a black hole of disjointed distractions. It’s something I think about now whenever I have to get online or on my phone, and it makes a huge difference.

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Brenna Holeman September 17, 2014 - 9:46 pm

That’s such a good idea! I’ve definitely cut down on my phone usage recently, and am trying to use my time online on my laptop much more efficiently. The first big step was only doing one task at a time, meaning giving a movie my full attention! Sounds so silly – it’s what I was doing only a few years ago – but things have changed so much over this past decade.

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Christina September 21, 2014 - 8:59 pm

Yes yes yes! I can so relate to this! “Taking a break from the Internet by spending more time on the Internet” haha. I am up to a point where I feel like I need to just shut down my phone the whole day to be productive. Unfortunately that’s not always an option. So I installed an add-on for my browser that blocks time wasting sites that can suck the life out of my working day, just to keep me focused. I feel kinda stupid for needing this add-on but I’m so easily distracted.

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Brenna Holeman September 21, 2014 - 9:27 pm

That’s a great idea! I’m really trying to do it on my own, but it is definitely difficult sometimes. I mean, I’ve just spent about an hour and a half online and I’m not even sure what I did… gah. Thanks for your comment!

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Zalie September 27, 2014 - 1:46 am

I sometimes feel we are slowly turning into robots…and that is so scary. Honestly, going off Facebook feels so good, it wastes so much of people’s days. People are so into themselves with their petty shit…it drives me insane! p.s. I think that we should start taking pictures of public phones to show our kids how it used to be in the good old days 😉

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Brenna Holeman September 27, 2014 - 5:35 pm

Yes – I still spend far too much time on my phone. I can’t imagine going off of Facebook at this stage in my life but who knows what the future may hold! And I agree with the taking photos thing… there are hardly any left. Even in London, home of the red telephone box, there are very few around anymore!

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rebecca September 29, 2014 - 5:04 am

I have to agree on this one. I lose my phone a while back and found it so invigorating to not have to think about it. its such a good break

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Brenna Holeman September 29, 2014 - 6:34 pm

Yeah, it can definitely be a nice break without one!

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