Airplane! And Other Horror Stories

by Brenna Holeman

Flying Over Brazil

Flying Over Brazil

A couple of months ago, I re-watched the classic comedy Airplane!. I hadn’t seen it in years, but found myself laughing out loud at all of the silly jokes, the ridiculous puns, the over-the-top acting. For those who haven’t seen it (if not, I suggest you do), it depicts the plane ride from hell, one on which nearly everyone, including the pilots, becomes horribly ill. Comedy, and near disaster, ensues.


It got me thinking of all the times I’ve experienced something awful on an airplane. Put people in a confined space for hours on end and something weird is bound to happen. Add to that travel stress, uncomfortable seats, terrible food*, and, for some, a fear of flying, and you have a recipe for trouble.

Korean Airplane Food

 Airplane food when flying from Korea

Once, a man from the Philippines serenaded me the entire way from Chicago to Winnipeg – singing directly into my ear and telling me it was a shame I wasn’t married. Another time, my friend vomited into a bag for three hours straight and strangely refused to get up to go to the bathroom. I once saw a flight attendant open an overhead locker only to have a metal bar fall out, hitting a woman on the face and cutting her open, blood everywhere. And of course I’ve had flights cancelled and delayed, had bags lost, dealt with incredibly rude staff, and never, not once, comfortably fallen asleep for longer than half an hour on any plane ride (with the exception of that time I took what may have been a horse tranquilliser on my way from Malaysia to Japan).

One of my earliest airplane horror stories happened in 2006. I was flying from Toronto to London, where I’d catch another flight to Amsterdam to begin a backpacking stint through Europe. Other than short flights around North America, it was the first time I had flown alone, and the first time I’d flown overseas alone. Not only that, I was starting a huge adventure by myself – I was young, naive, and an inexperienced traveller. In short, I was a bit nervous.

I found my seat – an aisle seat near the back – and was next to an older lady. The first thing I noticed about her was the colour orange; she seemed to be draped in the colour from head to toe, and her hair, lipstick, and long fingernails shared the hue. She was like something out of a Roald Dahl book, comical and overdone. As the plane took off, we chatted from time to time, though I could barely understand a word she said and tried to avoid all conversation. She was from the Netherlands, or had family there – I couldn’t quite ascertain what was happening, though I noticed she ordered glass after glass of white wine, and soon became almost incomprehensible. When she turned to the side I noticed multiple airsickness patches on her neck. I sat politely, trying to read or write in my journal, but every so often she’d tap me on the shoulder with one of her talons and cackle on in an unintelligible tongue.

Near the end of the flight, she stood up to use the bathroom, and I let her by. As soon as she stepped into the aisle, she fainted, hitting the padded floor with a thud. As it was an overnight flight, the lights were down, and most people were sleeping – I immediately starting hitting the flight attendant button, and people started stirring.

“What happened?” the flight attendant asked.

“I have no idea, she just fainted.”

“What’s her name? Are you related?”

“I don’t know – I just met her on the flight.” I was starting to panic now – why was I being dragged into this?

The lights on the plane went up; people started fussing and trying to get a look at what was going on. The woman was still on the floor, her head rolling from side to side, muttering in a language I didn’t recognise.

And then – those words that have almost become a joke in pop culture – a voice boomed over the loudspeaker: “Is there a doctor onboard? Please identify yourself immediately.”

The next moments were a blur – people crowding around my seat, asking questions, trying to offer help to the ill woman. The only thing I can surmise is that she mixed alcohol with the airsickness patches. She was eventually led to the back, but, after the plane landed, we had to wait for emergency personnel to board the plane and take her away on a stretcher. This, in turn, led to me running through Heathrow airport, attempting to find my way to my next flight, almost missing it. Not a great start to my adventure, but, as we always say… it definitely makes for a story.

Plane in Peru

Kerri and I on a tiny plane in Nazca, Peru

And we’ve all been there, haven’t we? The seat-kickers, the over-talkers, the terrible turbulence. The people who have no patience at all. And I’m sure, at some point, we’ve all had the incredible misfortune of being horrifically ill during a flight.

Flying Over Everest

Flying over Mount Everest, Nepal

What are your airplane horror stories? Have you ever had something truly awful/annoying/unbelievable happen to you while you were on a flight? 

 

*I actually kind of like airplane food

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27 comments

Jenn January 3, 2014 - 6:35 am

…crying …. babies. They are the worst! On my way to Chicago last month there was one a few seats ahead of me. I had never been happier to land in my life! And on my flight from Dulles to Germany I had a weird lady who redid her makeup like 6 times during the flight. And I have long legs, so people who lean their seats back annoy me and I always get stuck behind the one person in the row that does it. Good times 🙂 but I really don’t have any super terrifying stories thank God (and knock on wood!).

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 1:05 pm

Ah yes, crying babies definitely make the list! I always feel really sorry for the parents, though. One of my big pet peeves is when parents don’t take care of their children, and let their little ones run up and down the aisle, or jump on seats, or bang trays, or whatever.

Since my knee injury in 2012 I have some problems on airplanes, and when people lean back it definitely exacerbates the problem! I just chalk it up to one of the things we have to deal with in order for an amazing end result (a holiday, for example). I’ll take some discomfort if it means being able to travel…

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Hmarie January 3, 2014 - 1:34 pm

Babies don’t cry to get passengers in a hump. They cry as it is one of few ways they can communicate. And you can bet your bottom dollar that the parent is wanting to calm them a heap more than the annoyed fellow passenger, like yourself.

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 2:36 pm

Absolutely! That’s why I said I feel sorry for the parents. It’s not the baby’s fault, of course… and even though I try to be as understanding as possible, it can still be annoying, there’s no denying that.

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Beverley January 3, 2014 - 1:21 pm

Brilliant post Brenna! What a scary situation to be caught up in, especially however many feet in the air – that poor lady, I wonder how she felt when she came to in a completely different place because that would freak me out.

I’ve had to deal with the usual crying babies (noise-cancelling headphones are my new-found love), people that push too hard on the television buttons so that your chair physically moves and those who spend the entire flight shoving your elbow off the arm-rest you’re sure is yours but the worst was on a flight from Melbourne to Singapore.

I was living in Auckland at the time and was flying back to England for a funeral. Auckland to Melbourne was perfect but during the 8 hour flight to Singapore I started feeling really unwell. Long story short, when I arrived in Singapore I was refused entry back on the plane to London as the pilot deemed me too ill to fly and had to wait 24 hours in Singapore before being able to fly to London.

The full story’s here: http://www.pack-your-passport.com/2013/02/that-time-i-wasnt-allowed-back-on-a-plane-in-singapore.html

🙂 x

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 2:40 pm

Oh MAN! That really sucks. I can’t believe they didn’t let you back on the plane. Thanks for sharing the link!

And I agree, people who hog the armrest and people who press too hard on the TV buttons are so annoying. I try to do the annoyed-glare-turnaround thing but some people just do not get it…

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Jay January 3, 2014 - 1:40 pm

I’ve had a few horror stories and countless sketchy flights while living in Central Africa where every airline is blacklisted and it’s perfectly visible why. Most recently, my husband and I boarded a flight back to Europe. The flight had been oversold and we transferred to a different flight which left us the 2 middle seats in a bulk of 4 which was bad enough. As we got settled in, the lady behind us called the flight attendant over and asked for several sick bags. Her 2 children vomited the entire ascent & descent. It was awful & my stomach turns just thinking about it.

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 2:43 pm

Oh no, that sounds awful. There’s nothing worse than the smell of sick…

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Tom @ Waegook Tom January 3, 2014 - 1:46 pm

I’ve managed to avoid sickness during my flights, and the worst I’ve ever experienced is delays. On a flight from Leeds to Prague though, I was stuck in the window seat with 2 men next to me and 3 behind me, all part of a stag party going to the Czech capital. They were loud, obnoxious, used foul language (they’d shout out the ‘c’ word, when there was a child of no more than 5 on the row in front), whistled at the stewardesses, and when one suggested things to see or do in Prague, the others shouted him down, called him gay, and said they were just going there to get drunk. Seriously, some people ought to have to pass a test before being issued a passport.

I also flew in propeller planes for the first time last year, once from Manchester to Shannon, and then on a return flight from Medellin to Bahia Solano. I was absolutely terrified, and of course on each flight I was sat right next to the propeller. It didn’t help that on the Manchester-Shannon flight, the plan had to be deiced before take off, which gave me visions of the propellers simply freezing mid-flight….shudder.

Aaaanyway, I’ll be taking 3 flights in the next 2 weeks, and I’m hoping they’re all without incident! Fingers crossed…

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 2:45 pm

Ugh, that stag party sounds terrible. I am always so shocked when people behave like that, especially in either a confined place (where people have no choice but to listen) or in front of children.

Propeller planes can definitely be scary! I’ve flown in a few of them. Kerri and I took a tiny plane over the Nazca lines in Peru (in that photo above) and it was kind of terrifying, but exciting, too.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, too! Good luck!

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Neil January 3, 2014 - 1:49 pm

My gf had a small child spit at her on a recent flight home from Turkey. I was actually so shocked that I pretty much froze when I’m sure other would have gone crazy.

The mother was pretty good at telling the child off and making him begrudgingly apologise. The dad on the other hand looked like he found it was all rather amusing.

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 2:40 pm

What?! That’s crazy! I don’t know what I would have done, either…

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Zalie January 3, 2014 - 2:01 pm

Ummm…family flight back from London, my orange fleece and overalls, too many scones with butter and jam, and an entire hockey team…enough said 😉

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Brenna Holeman January 3, 2014 - 2:38 pm

Ha ha ha – I was going to write about this, but didn’t want to embarrass you! Don’t forget about the salmon…

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Zalie January 8, 2014 - 3:09 pm

Not much that can embarrass me at this point…and no, I did not forget about the salmon!!!

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Christy January 3, 2014 - 4:54 pm

My fiance is a commercial airline pilot and I get the best stories from him! One of my favorites comes from a flight from Dubai to Bangalore. I was sitting next to a 12-year-old Muslim boy. (He was in Islamic dress). I was watching a movie on the flight that I hadn’t seen before. I don’t even remember what it was but the boy was playing a video game next to his sleeping father when a VERY graphic sex scene came on and I caught the boy staring and his father started muttering to me in Arabic…which I didn’t understand. I kept trying to turn it off and I couldn’t and it was horribly embarrassing.

I also had my wallet stolen out of my bag on a flight from Delhi to Amsterdam…on a trip that (because of a bombing near the Mumbai airport had be rerouted from my direct flight from Mumbai to the US to five flights across the world) still had 4 legs to go. That was awful.

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Brenna Holeman January 4, 2014 - 5:58 pm

Oh dear, that has happened to me, too – I’m surprised they allow those scenes to play on airplanes! I once watched a movie with a very graphic masturbation scene and prayed that nobody else was looking over my shoulder…

That’s so crazy about your wallet being stolen. I have often thought about theft on airplanes but figured it was near impossible to pull off – but I guess not. Awful indeed!

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Katrinka January 3, 2014 - 7:20 pm

I’m one of those jerks who can always sleep on planes– I often fall asleep before take-off and wake up in the air. It’s a gift.
Probably one of the stranger experiences I’ve had on a flight was en route to Sarajevo from Istanbul a few years ago. I was sleeping (of course) when the plane had intense turbulence–like, falling-out-of-the-sky turbulence– and the old woman next to me was so freaked out that she grabbed my hand in a death grip and started profusely praying. Eventually she calmed down enough to tell me her life story (left Bosnia to marry a Jordanian, spent her adult life in Jordan but always returns to Sarajevo in the summertime, really an interesting lady) but never actually loosened her grip on my hand…

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Brenna Holeman January 4, 2014 - 5:51 pm

You JERK!! I would be the one glaring at you at 3am, ha ha.

And oh wow, what a story. Turbulence can be so scary, I can only imagine what it would be like with someone beside me exacerbating the situation…

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Briana January 4, 2014 - 1:13 pm

I am trying to think of my worst airplane story, but I can’t come up with one. Luckily I have yet to have anything traumatizing occur while flying. I suppose I have been lucky in that regard. I would like to commiserate with you on sleeping, though. I can go to sleep while flying, but it is *never* restful. I always end up waking up in a sore, miserable state. Not fun. I would much rather stay up the entire time, and often I do.
You have some very interesting stories though!

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Brenna Holeman January 4, 2014 - 5:48 pm

I always make sure I am well-equipped to keep myself entertained for the duration of the flight: book, journal, possibly laptop or iPod. I wish I could sleep on airplanes – I’m so envious of those who can! Thanks for your comment.

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The Irie Explorer January 5, 2014 - 8:37 am

I’ve been reading through all these comments, and the stories are quite interesting!

The last flight I was on was a few weeks ago from Cairns to Melbourne, and it was certainly eventful. After boarding the plane, my boyfriend and I were seated in the window and middle seats. There was a gentleman sitting in the aisle seat beside us who (shortly after boarding the plane) told us he felt sick and got off the plane. Turns out he had food poisoning and didn’t want to fly (I don’t blame him). But because he was no longer flying, the airline had to get his luggage out from underneath the plane before we could take-off (causing a 30 minute delay).
Then, once we took off, about 20 minutes into the flight we noticed the flight-attendents attending to a man sitting directly in front of us. He was white as a sheet and they called for a doctor. What ensued over the next hour was this young man passing out and having to be constantly cared for. Then, half way into the flight, the young man vomited all over the front of his seat, the floor, and the side wall of the cabin as well as the window. My boyfriend and I spent the next hour sitting less than one foot away from his vomit – which had rolled down the floor into our foot space. The entire cabin smelled strongly of sick for the rest of the flight. I consider it a miracle that I didn’t vomit, too.

– Liane xx

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Brenna Holeman January 6, 2014 - 5:59 am

Oh dear God, that is so horrible. Sounds like the flight from hell. I feel horrible for the sick people, of course, but I agree with you – it’s a miracle you weren’t sick, too. I might have been!

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Rachel January 9, 2014 - 1:03 am

I was sooo sick during a flight from Prague to New York. I had just been in the city, gotten appendicitis, missed my flight (with no travel insurance mind you – I known better now), stayed in the hospital for five days and then a couple more as I booked a flight home. When I woke up from my hotel to go to the airport, I didn’t feel well, but I assumed it was because of the surgery. I went to the airport and my flight was delayed by a few hours – and the whole time I was sitting on the bathroom floor feeling hot, achy and nauseous. I spent the flight vomiting and attempting to sleep, and when I finally made it to New York I found out I had missed my connection home because of the delayed flight. I spent the night with a friend in the city, grunting at her questions as she asked me about my trip and trying to eat some of the food her mother made me. Finally the next day I made it back to Atlanta, and on the ride home from the airport, my father stopped by the doctor – my fever was around 103. Somehow I had caught a virus hours after being released for appendicitis. But it makes a good story!

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Brenna Holeman January 9, 2014 - 2:35 am

Oh dear God, that sounds horrible! I can’t even imagine how awful you must have felt. You’re right, though… makes for a good story! Though that’s hardly comforting at the time…

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Charlotte March 24, 2017 - 4:35 pm

I love airplane food, haha! Especially the little cheese and crackers.

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