"the last time i saw you"

This time last year, I could have never predicted where I’d be at this exact moment: sitting on the patio of my family’s rented casa in Nicaragua, a spiced rum and coke beside me, the sun dipping low in the sky before it sinks past the ocean’s horizon and out of sight. I thought that 2013 wasn’t a very big year for me, but it was; it was one of transition, of finally moving to London. 2014 started off slow, with almost no plans – soon it grew into a year of travel, a year of accomplishments, and a year of maturing (both in numbers and in mindset). Here’s a little review of the past year.

Be warned: there are lots of photos!

I have been meaning to write this post for a long, long time. I suppose you could argue I’ve been waiting to tell this story since early April of 2022, which is when I gave birth to my son. Considering he is now nearly three years old, and I have one glorious day where I am actually on top of my freelance deadlines, the sun is shining, and I have a cup of hot coffee at my side, I thought I’d finally write a blog post about my birth story, or: how I learned to stop worrying and love the epidural (I couldn’t resist the title, which is a nod to my former days of cinephilia and a love of all things Stanley Kubrick).

Have I completely and utterly fucked up? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked myself this question. It’s usually late at night, the witching hour, as I lie in bed staring at shadows on my ceiling.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I don’t know why – I traditionally think of myself as a pretty good sleeper – but now that I think of it, maybe I haven’t slept well in years. Maybe part of this is being a single parent to a newborn/baby/toddler, the only one to get up every night when needed (which, until he was about one, was every hour on the hour). Maybe part of this might be perimenopause, something I’ve been researching a bit more as I turned 40 (oh right. I turned 40. I’m sure I’ll write about that one day).

But a big part? A really, really big part of the reason I can’t sleep? It’s because I feel like I’ve thrown all of this away. I feel like I’ve fucked up one of the things I’ve loved the most in my life, one of the only constants in my life over the past two decades.

Yep, I’m talking about this blog.

As someone who loves to learn about the history of a place – of the who and the why a place is what it is – I knew my focus was going to be on that. And Nova Scotia is filled with history; in fact, despite it being the second-smallest province by land size, it has 13 national historic sites and six UNESCO World Heritage Sites (for reference, the entire country of Canada has 22 UNESCO World Heritage Sites, so Nova Scotia has more than a quarter of them).

On top of that, Halifax is home to the Halifax Defence Complex, a collection of five forts that were crucial overseas naval stations for the British Empire. They helped protect the Halifax Harbour from the late 1700s all the way to World War II. Despite not knowing much about this side of Halifax’s history, I was able to visit all five, and – history buff or not – I believe that they’re all absolutely worthy of a visit when you’re in Halifax.

Oh, hi. Right. I have a blog. A blog I used to love with all my heart and post on multiple times a week and that led to my entire travel writing career and that I still rely on for a bit of ad money so that I can buy diapers. And yet… the last post I wrote was a review of 2021?! And I’m writing about a post about 2022… in June of 2023?!

So here we go. In 2022, I had a baby.

I’ve been meaning to write this year in review for three months now. And as the calendar is just about to flip over to April, I figured I should actually sit down to write it. And it’s quite fitting that I am writing this on my baby’s due date; I’m in bed, Dottie curled up beside me, as my nerves and excitement aren’t allowing me to sleep.