"why i love"

A Danish reader once wrote to me to tell me how disappointed she was that there was barely anything on this blog about Denmark, despite the fact that I had visited in 2006. Actually, of the 80-odd countries I’ve been to, not that many of them are documented that well on this blog at all. I’ve never really been one for writing “guides”, I guess – I already do that for work, and I prefer to keep this blog more story-oriented.

That being said, after my recent trip to Denmark (which also included Aarhus) I felt the urge to write about why I love Copenhagen so much, and compile a list of all my favourite things to do in the city.

I am starting a new series on the blog, which, if you haven’t already figured out, is called “Why I Love ______”. And today, because it’s cold in London and I’m craving pasta (both of those things can be said for nearly every day of the year, to be fair), I’m writing about Basilicata.

I had never heard of Basilicata before I was invited by their tourism board to visit. Not many others I’ve talked to have heard of it, either. But from the moment I arrived in Bari (which is in southern Italy, and only a short and cheap flight away from London) and then drove an hour to Matera, I knew I was going to like it.

I’ve been sighing a lot in London lately. I often talk about how much I love this city on this blog; I wrote a whole post about why it deserves every bit of that love, just over a year ago. In that post, I cited the things to do, the galleries, the people, the restaurants, the markets. And I still stand by every word of that post. From Broadway Market to Saatchi Gallery, to afternoon tea and early morning raves, I’m more in love with this city than ever.

But we all know what love is like. It starts off like fireworks, all oohs and aahs, lust and passion. If we’re lucky, that feeling stays for a while. If we’re really lucky, that feeling stays forever.

The other evening, returning from a visit to Leeds to visit my good friend Tom, I stood in the pouring rain and looked around. I didn’t know where I was – the exit I had taken from the bus station was unfamiliar. I was cold, and tired, and the grapes I had bought to snack on during the journey had spilled and crushed in my bag. A taxi splashed by, covering my boots and legs with water. On any other day, I might have been very frustrated with this entire situation. I might have cursed (silently or out loud, it would depend on my mood). I might have huffed and puffed. Instead, I stood there with a grin, laughing at the series of events that could only be described as Murphy’s Law. The thing is, nothing really phases you when you’re in love. And in love I am, absolutely head-over-heels, over-the-top, twirling-in-the-streets kind of love. And who, or what, is so deserving of this adoration?

I have been meaning to write this post for a long, long time. I suppose you could argue I’ve been waiting to tell this story since early April of 2022, which is when I gave birth to my son. Considering he is now nearly three years old, and I have one glorious day where I am actually on top of my freelance deadlines, the sun is shining, and I have a cup of hot coffee at my side, I thought I’d finally write a blog post about my birth story, or: how I learned to stop worrying and love the epidural (I couldn’t resist the title, which is a nod to my former days of cinephilia and a love of all things Stanley Kubrick).

We’ve all been there, right? We can’t stop thinking about them. Listen to just about any love song and you’ll hear it repeated again and again, a theme that repeats itself over and over on the radio. It might be someone we’re casually dating. It might be an ex. It might be a person we only had one date with. Whatever the scenario, we just can’t stop thinking about them. In fact, we might even feel a little bit obsessed; it might start to affect how we sleep, eat, interact with others, and live our lives. And I don’t know about you, but for me, that is not a healthy way to be, feel, or act. So, what’s actually happening in our brains when we feel this way about someone? And how can we stop an unhealthy thought process so that we can move on with our lives and focus on ourselves instead?